Kimball documents the effects of living with a mentally ill parent in her graphic memoir. She is careful to describe how it effected her personally, although she includes observations of her two brothers and their father. Sadly, her grandmother, her mother’s mother, was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and her mother with manic depressive disorder. Her father appeared to try to keep the family going, until he could not any longer. Kimball was the middle child, with older brother Ted and younger brother Zac, each with their own perspectives and experiences. Her mother clearly loves her children intensely, so much so that after a lengthy custody battle, she finally surrenders primary custody to their father. It is so sad to see the great difficulties she experiences, unable to keep regular employment, and manage money and household to maintain any sort of stability for the children. After the divorce, Ted goes to live with his father, leaving Kimball and Zac to deal with their mother’s cyclical difficulties.

Based on her childhood diaries, as well as interviews with her brothers, father, and half sister, Kimball provides a remarkably detailed description of the struggles experienced by a child in a chaotic household, with an unstable, yet loving parent. She captures how children don’t understand what is motivating a parent’s behavior, the extreme stress, unhealthy outlets for the stress, and strained relations with the separated father and his new life. Her father marries the woman Kimball suspects, but cannot confirm, that her father had an affair with while married to her mother, and they have a baby girl, Katie. Kimball feels very close to Katie, as do the brothers, to which the new wife reacts in a strongly negative way. Kimball comes to learn that the new marriage is on somewhat shaky ground, as the new wife institutes unreasonable rules, and attempts to undermine their relationships. Perhaps inconvenienced or threatened by these children of the former marriage, the wife makes these children feel unwelcome, not quite at ease, not part of the new family unit. Once again, Kimball’s father tries to bring peace, make his new wife happy, be fair, all for nought. This marriage also ends, although a bright spot remains— Katie stays in all their lives, very much a loved sister and daughter.

Sadly, Kimball documents the apparent development of schizophrenia in her dear brother, Ted. The whole family strives mightily to keep him out of the hospital, to help him feel loved and supported. This book reminded me of Hidden Valley Road, also reviewed here (https://www.margueritereads.com/home/hidden-valley-road-inside-the-mind-of-an-american-family-by-robert-kolker). Mental illness robs children of the foundational stability needed as a springboard into life. Kimball’s father struggled greatly to give his children that stability, although he couldn’t do so within the household with their mother. By establishing his one home, he gave them the escape needed, although Kimball acknowledges the guilt and grief that comes from not being able to save a parent from the terrible toll of illness. Told as a graphic memoir, this genre brings a personal feeling not quite achieved with a traditional narrative. Most renderings are interiors and exteriors of her homes, where she describes the memorable scenes of childhood that happened there. By showing you the scene, then using the narrative to describe the action, it had a very dramatic effect, as though the actors had just left the stage, leaving the mess behind. So much to learn here about the impact of mental illness on families, on the development of children, on the way love can heal and ease suffering, but not remove it. Highly recommended.