In 2019, Sloane Crosley ran a brief errand, leaving her Greenwich Village apartment for an hour. Upon returning, she found that someone had broken in her apartment via a window in her bedroom, and stolen her jewelry, including expensive pieces inherited from, or gifted to her by, her cantankerous grandmother. Exactly two months later, her best friend’s partner called her to inform her that her best friend, Russell, died by suicide, hanging himself in their barn on their Connecticut property. These two events send Crosley on a difficult emotional journey, a tutorial on grief.

Crosley structures the book using Dr. Kubler-Ross’ well-known stages of grief. In this candid, darkly funny presentation of episodes, reactions, and reflections, we learn about Crosley’s relationship with her grandmother, then about her dear friend Russell. The very qualities that endeared Russell to Crosley are the same that put off, annoyed, or even threatened other too-tender souls. They simply got each other; they understood, appreciated, loved the other, as the closest friends do. It is no wonder that she felt the loss so deeply, and in such a conflicted way, when such a satisfying, mutual friendship is lost, with no true hint of why.

While the theft was a scary invasion of her personal space (they were watching to see when she left! what if she was there when it happened? would they return?), Russell’s suicide was distressing on so many levels. Why didn’t he share his sadness? Or had he, and she callously didn’t notice? Feeling that Russell abruptly ended their relationship with no discussion, between two people who discussed everything nearly endlessly, left Crosley with a deep well of loss and self-doubt.

The Covid pandemic comes on the heels of these losses, as Crosley stays in NYC and describes life’s strangeness and losses on a large scale, such as the tractor trailer parked outside her apartment, repurposed to store the bodies of those lost to Covid. While filled with sadness and self-reflection, Crosley’s narrative has many hilarious episodes, as well as her flip, sardonic prose style. Her stories about her friendship with Russell are entertaining, even farcical at times. She was indeed fortunate to have such a friend in her life.

I highly recommend this thoughtful meditation by someone impacted by suicide. I’m also proud of my fellow Connecticut College alum’s noteworthy accomplishment.