Published in 2000, this novel is a modern classic of the Catholic contemplative spiritual experience. Helen has had a sad, quiet life on a vast, isolated farm, raised by her grandparents. Her mother abandoned her as a baby, and has only phoned home upon her father’s death. Helen is left with a deep sense of longing for her mother, but her grandparents have been kind. Her circumstances make her an outsider at school, until the day she meets Sister Priscilla. This new teacher exudes the confidence and certitude of purpose Helen craves. The nun quickly takes Helen under her wing. Later, after graduating and working at Sears, Helen feels drawn to attend vigil Mass for Christmas. She meets Sister Priscilla after Mass, having had some sort of unusual experience during the Mass. The nun believes this was the beginning of Helen’s calling. When a person believes they have a calling to religious life, it begins a period of discernment, to test the feelings as true and of the Holy Spirit. Salzman telegraphs this in the sparest of language, as he does many nuances in the novel. Helen’s calling story is told as a flashback.

The crux of the story is this: Helen, now Sister John of the Cross, has some sort of transcendent experiences, which inspire her to write a book of poetry while living at the Carmelite monastery in the desert outside Los Angeles. These phenomenon have gone on for three years, and the monastery relies on the funds earned from the book for needed repairs and improvements. Lately, the migraines and experiences are more disruptive of the shared, rules-based lives of the nuns, and small envious feelings have arisen. All nuns strive for communion with God through their austere lives of sacrifice, and few experience anything unusual as a reward. Salzman does a good job explaining the nature of their calling, spiritual striving, and sacrifice, as well as the range of personalities among the nuns, often experienced as the crucible that wears down one’s rough edges and builds virtues needed for communion with God. Sister John’s prioress sends her for necessary medical examination and testing, to finally determine the cause of her issues. It is here that Sister John learns that she has a small tumor in her brain that is stimulating a form of epileptic seizure that creates psychological, sensory experiences of the type frequently confused as spiritual, as well as the hypergraphia, or desire to write. Sister John’s entire life is thrown into chaos and questioning by this knowledge. The tumor is easily removed surgically, ending the migraines, and potentially ending the experiences she has come to cherish. Have her spiritual experiences been genuine, or chemically stimulated by the tumor? Will the gift of writing leave her with surgery? Have the years of sacrifice led to her connection with God, or will she be cast out, left with spiritual dryness? Should she be selfish and keep the tumor, keep her experiences, yet cause greater disruptions for her community? Or wouldn’t the true act of faith be to surrender?

Salzman has written a beautiful, spiritual book. It rings true to the life dedicated to prayer and discipline as means to remove the barriers in the world that block one’s ability to connect with God, to live in His Will. It is a story told with the spareness of the Carmelite monastery and life, so at odds with the common life of distractions we live. It is especially interesting since this was published in 2000; you will see how much more distracted and far from God our lives have gotten. I hope you will read this and be inspired.