First, the title: Spare refers to the expression, “heir and a spare”, the duty of the wife of a monarch, or future monarch, to produce two children (formerly two sons), thus assuring the line of succession for the British throne. The Queen changed the rules, including female children in the line of succession. This meant that the line of succession, after King Charles, is, in order, William, his son George, his daughter Charlotte, his son Louis, then his brother Harry, Harry’s son Archie, and his daughter Lillibet. Since Harry and Meghan’s change in status within the family, including loss of the honorifics HRH (His/Her Royal Highness), Harry remains fifth in the line of succession. All that said, Harry was “the spare” upon his birth, the second son of Charles and Diana. No doubt this one word was considered emblematic of much of the dysfunction of growing up royal.

Full disclosure, in addition to reading Harry’s book, I have viewed Harry and Meghan’s entire Netflix mini-series, as well as countless Instagram reels and YouTube videos with various points of view about the couple. It seems the creators of these videos often strongly dislike the couple, and mostly the harshest criticisms are leveled at Meghan. The most interesting videos are by a group called The Behavior Panel, four body language experts who take apart the Netflix series, the Oprah interview, and Harry’s subsequent CNN interview to promote Spare. I found their analysis revealing, credible, and fascinating. All this is to say that I bring a great deal of information and bias to my reading of Spare, and my thoughts on it fluctuated wildly between sympathy and judgement, and they still do.

Spare takes us from the time of Harry’s mother, Diana’s death, told from the heart-rending perspective of her younger son, then twelve-year old Harry. This can’t help but move the reader to great sympathy for the boy Harry, especially given his emotionally chilly family, the circumstances of divorce, a complex relationship with an only sibling (who is being groomed to be king), and the rapacious media. After Diana’s death, we see Harry trying to make life choices with little parental guidance from Charles or support from William. With the burden of unresolved grief, Harry struggles to give his life meaning, resorting to alcohol and recreational drugs. Every misstep is magnified by the media, as they create a narrative largely removed from the truth— Harry is “naughty”, “immature”, “out of control”, depicted as selfish, stupid, and foolish. In fact, Harry explains, he was a young person struggling with deep and unresolved grief at the loss of the one person who clearly loved him and had his own best interests at heart.

It is not until later that Harry gradually comes to learn that the Palace, with collaboration from members of his family, plant stories to make him look bad, in hopes of making their own profiles look better. Harry is not only the Spare, but the Whipping Boy, the royal who makes the rest look good. Harry’s only motivation is to serve his Queen, and find his purpose in life; he describes his loving relationship with his Granny, yet feels the Palace staff and their leaks to the media undermine his efforts at loyal service to the Crown. The press also undermine his ability to have a stable, normal romantic relationship that could lead to a happy marriage and family, what he yearns for greatly.

Enter Meghan Markle, the woman who seems to appeal to Harry on every level. An American woman, with independence, strong opinions, and seemingly similar values and goals to Harry’s, of being an agent of positive societal change. Beautiful, at ease in the media’s glare, able to converse with a variety of people, Meghan is perfect dressed up or down, glammed or casual, California laid-back, with Hollywood polish. She is educated, worldly, yet eager to start a family. She is everything he hoped for, yearned for. After initial acceptance, indeed embracing approval from Charles, Granny, and the media, with measured affirmation from Will and Kate, Harry thinks he has turned a new page and all will be well. Why did it all fall apart, to the degree that Harry and Meghan, after their wedding and with the arrival of their first child Archie, found the media’s hateful treatment, and refusal of family or Palace support, felt the need to step back from royal duties for reasons of sanity and personal safety? The culprit was racism— certainly racism in the media, but perhaps racism in the family? Harry never states this outright in the book. It seems Meghan’s primary faults are being American in her behavior, and making the rest of the family look bad by comparison to her rock star adulation by the public. The fact that the media treatment was some of the worst ever leveled at a royal without cause, leading to serious cause to be concerned for the couple’s safety, not to mention emotional well-being, all with no support from the Crown, legal or otherwise, led to Harry, Meghan, and Archie fleeing for Vancouver, and later California. The Palace responds by financially cutting them off, depriving them of any support for security, and cut off from any of the attachments Harry valued, such as support for his military fellows as a veteran.

That is the story Harry tells, as he says the truth he must speak to try to correct the history the Palace will attempt to portray, which is riddled with lies. In seeking normalcy and privacy for his family unit, he feels he must share his perspective on his most personal of relationships, telling every family secret, to show the entire truth. Harry has been ridiculed in the media for revealing so very much of a personal nature, in efforts to fund their lives and gain privacy and safety; indeed using media exposure for personal gain, the very sin he accuses the royals of doing. The irony is rich.

It cannot be denied that the examples of media coverage of Meghan he describes are horrible and racist. No need to repeat them here, and they are a matter of record. Was Meghan a poor fit in the royal family? Was she cruel and bossy to staff and other family? Was she into the perks, but unwilling to take the downside that goes with royal life? Or is the royal family as cold, every man for himself, dysfunctional, and media complicit as Harry says? Most of what he relates up to Meghan’s appearance is indisputable, indeed, sad and tragic. Is Harry being manipulated by both a gold digger and the royal family, each for their own ends? The British monarchy is navigating treacherous waters in an attempt to keep the institution, “the Firm”, alive and relevant in the twenty-first century. Some say that by driving Harry and Meghan away an opportunity was lost. But is Harry right to claim, on the level of healthy family relations, it is fair to expect more from the Palace, indeed morally correct that dysfunction must be addressed and relations improved?

To many, all of this may seem entirely irrelevant, much ado about nothing. Indeed, with weaponized Chinese spy balloons flying overhead unimpeded, that’s an easy argument to make. And what will the Sussex family do next? How will they continue to fund their lifestyle and the causes they hold dear? Don’t expect them to go away—act two must begin soon. Read if you wish Harry’s perspective on all of this, or take a pass if you truly don’t care.