Not my usual fare, I agree. I don’t really watch any reality television (I was forced to watch The Kardashians when I used to get my nails done.) However, I cannot resist a book that mentions New Jersey (former Jersey girl here.) Examples include Varina Palladino’s Jersey Italian Love Story (https://www.margueritereads.com/home/varina-palladinos-jersey-italian-love-story-by-terri-lynne-defino?rq=new%20jersey) and Please See Us, a novel about a serial killer loose in Atlantic City (https://www.margueritereads.com/home/please-see-us-by-caitin-mullen?rq=new%20jersey). So when this one popped up in my feed, well, I had to take a look.

When Eden, showrunner for Garden State Goddesses, needs to up the action, she manipulates her cousin Hope to meet, fall in love with, and marry Leo Fontana. Hope and Eden were daughters of brothers who formed a religious cult in northern California, a background the cousins consign to the hidden past. Eden escaped in her teens, but Hope stayed long enough to have life experiences that would traumatize her. Now she is unprepared for the life of these Jersey girls: big money, big nails, big drinking, big cat fights. Hope is the lamb brought to the slaughter, ill equipped for sarcasm and nastiness. Other cast members include Renee, a successful jewelry designer, and recently coming out as bi; Carmela Fontana, married to Leo’s brother, the creatively nastiest of the group; Valerie, born a Fontana, mother of two boys, and essentially a ditsy sidekick to Carmela; Birdie, a widowed, fabulously wealthy, drinking and drugging elder member of the cast, whose mansions in New Jersey, Rhode Island, and elsewhere provide appropriate backdrops for cast trips. Completing the cast are Renee’s teen daughter Ruby, an Ariana Grande wantabe; Pierre, Birdie’s twenty-something ne’er-do-well son; and Bianca, Carmela’s daughter, a quiet, mousy, invisible presence.

As the title suggests, the drama is bound to escalate. The apparent murder of one of the Goddesses leads Eden to take on the role of detective. While the show could survive one murder, when two more follow in rapid succession, even this is too much, and the show is cancelled. The twist of reality tv show turned murder mystery is what appears to be the unique aspect of this novel.

Firstly, the cattiness and emotional manipulations are farcical, and not clever enough to sustain me. Some readers may find this kind of trashy fare to their taste, but it was just an annoying bore to me. Secondly, the murders were very apparent to me. I could see them coming, could easily determine who would go, and who did it, as well as the means. It was all too easy to solve, which meant just waiting for Eden to catch up and figure it out. Almost nothing worse than a predictable murder mystery. The two elements that are supposed to entertain and keep the reader turning pages, the reality tv vibe, and the murders, were both major fails.

It grieves me to report that this is a NJ book on which you can definitely take a pass. I’ve saved you several precious hours of your life to read other worthwhile books, many of which you’ll find reviewed here. You’re welcome.